I've been worshiping expectations, and worshiping this funk, unwittingly.
I've been puzzling over the order, progress, and speed of things, while completely forgetting that life is not linear. It all happens at once and BOOM, flowers can have eyes. I can dance and sing. I can decide not to be a painter. I can write poems and blog entries that do not make sense and forgo the impulse to go searching for or assigning meaning to them. What I assign does not matter. I AM. I can fear that I'm losing my mind and not care one way or another. I can live a completely ordinary life or make a habit of hitch hiking.
I can stop editing myself, I can START turning that search beam inward. I can also extract answers out of the depths and crevasses of my being and be unafraid of what comes out.
I can unlearn.