The crunch of snow on the morning walk to work is a metronome
along with cross thrusting lessons fraught with laughter
The first recognition of waking awareness is an anxious jolt
The first notable sensation is slight nausea
I'm seeking distraction distraction distraction
Getting through the day so I can get through the afternoon
while needing the bravery necessary to sit patiently
I am 100 different people during the span of any given day
I brandish cynical intellectualism one moment
and embrace pseudo scientific New Age ideals the next
I carry crystals to align my chakras
and laugh at the naive simplistic views of religiosity
One second celebrating the exhilarating freedom
and the next fearing the big scary unknown
I am a giant box of contradictions
who does not believe in shapes
My ideologies are interchangeable
my moods quite unstable
I've fought an uphill battle against demons
yet thrice a day want to invite them back into open arms
What face should I wear today?
What belief system do I want to adopt?
What would my future self be most glad about?
I don't want to be an ant.
Going and sounding crazy are no longer fears
so this rabbit hole will be an endless expedition