In September I took a huge leap that I was terrified of, but felt was necessary in the deepest part of me, and things have been aligning more perfectly than I could ever intentionally orchestrate since the moment I got on that bus.
I am learning to let the universe flow through me uninhibited. Sometimes I get anxious or scared but I am mostly just too fucking excited about life to get caught up on worries. I am blessed and blissed. The more I reflect on events, emotions, people, etc, the more I see the yin and yang of pleasure and pain, and the less I want to strive for one and avoid the other. It makes no sense to cling to certain emotional states, and I think I'm finally realizing that on a fundamental, experiential level, rather than just philosophically. The more I watch myself, the more I see this as true.
Last night I heard this idea that 2 people trying to love each other who have not learned to love themselves is like 2 beggars begging from each other. This really hit me. I see now, more than ever, the importance of knowing myself inside out. This, in combination with trying to keep the void in mind, is conscious work, and I am loving the intensity.