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Monday, January 5, 2015

I am getting settled into a routine with work and living. I am out of what I would consider my natural element though I am learning that I can adjust to anything.
Everything is in a constant state of flux, the surprises are never ending, consciousness is moldable, reality is not static, perception is everything, and mine shifts constantly.
I keep surprising myself; what I would have once considered the scariest things are just another segment of my day. I still feel anxiety but I usually don't let it take over.

I am dealing with things that I kept shoved down in my subconscious mind and proceeding to become more and more free and less and less scared. I had a habit of being afraid of my emotions but now when I turn to face them they're often nothing more than shadows and I can't help but laugh at the fact that I've been hiding from them for so long.
I'm capable of whatever I need to do, I am not afraid of anyone or even shy anymore for the most part and it's good to know that. Instead of feeling anxious and avoiding situations, I feel anxious and deal with them regardless.
Instead of looking outside of myself for validation that I exist I'm going deeper within.
I'm getting to know my family members in a new way since I'm new. Today was beautiful and warm, I sit in the sun every day and I'm really thankful I have this place to figure my shit out. It's all temporary and we're all just walking each other home.


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