Friday, March 20, 2015

I was sitting in my living room in Iowa having a huge internal conflict, emotionally torn up. I had been with the same guy for the last 2 years and we rented that place together. It was my 25th birthday, we had been talking all day about splitting up but were having a hard time accepting that it was for the best. We had had many good times and experiences together, and made amazing music together. We had tried to have this conversation many times before and always ended up saying fuck it, let's make up and get along, and I think we both knew we were just putting off the inevitable.

He was sitting out on the porch with the dog when one of my female friends walked in the door and sat next to me and asked me what was going on. I told her the entire situation, and that I was feeling conflicted about leaving but knew I needed to go somewhere and start over. She told me I need to fucking get out of there right now and go experience life! She said that she wished she could do the same, and would do it in a heart beat if it were possible. Her words gave me the courage to know that I needed to take the leap. It was a piece of outside advice contrasting the bubble of doubt I was currently enclosed in.

I had $0 to my name, but my best friend had offered to buy me a bus ticket to get to his town 5 hours West, so I decided to go for it and get out of there. We both cried when we said goodbye but even though I was sad on the ride to the bus station, I could sense big things coming, like I had just knocked over the first domino.

Since then, things have been unfolding miraculously and I'll never forget that conversation with that beautiful lady that was the final push I needed. If she wouldn't have come over I probably would have stayed yet again, out of fear of the unknown.

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