I've unearthed a subconscious fear of speaking my mind. My ever changing truth. My internal convictions. Fear of being deemed inconsistent, pseudo-spiritual, pseudo-intellectual, "hipster", ignorant, delusional, arrogant, too wordy, too incoherent, trying too hard to seem smart, revealing too much, being called out, being looked at as "out there" or being perceived as just saying things to seem "out there" or project an image of uniqueness.
I'm deciding right now to accept myself and my fluid and ever changing philosophy, I want to hit those lows and hit those highs and feel free and feel suffocated and embrace and bask in the interconnected continuums of existence. The universe is inconsistent, and I am the universe, and so are you, so embrace your inconsistency and be "weird", "dorky", "nerdy", "crazy", etc etc. :)