Wednesday, September 24, 2014

sept 24

I'm so excited to be finally writing my book!! I think Omaha is the perfect place to be for it because it's way easier to tap into the memories of what transpired here when I am in the same area of town that I was when it all happened. It feels good to know that I'm ready to write my story, because the only way I can stand to admit all that stuff is knowing that I am no longer that person. And it also means that I care more what I think about myself than what others think. Before, I would have been too afraid that people will hate me when they hear about my past, now I love myself enough to know they won't, and even if people did, I'd still be alright. There's a girl coming over tonight to paint and play music with me, who used to hate me, for good reason. She's awesome, so that will be cool.

It's been interesting being back here, I love all of my friends.

The other night in the room I'm currently occupying I had a strange experience. I sleep on the floor in there. I fell asleep on my side, facing the wall, and at some unknown point in the night I opened my eyes and felt a presence behind my back, and I felt a sensation like someone putting their hand on my upper back. I started to look over and saw a glowing figure kneeling beside my body. It was yellow and gold and orange and swirling, with a human looking form and a bald head. I got extremely scared and turned back to the wall, heart pounding, and tried to calm myself down and tell myself it was not necessarily a negative thing. I could still feel a presence when I fell back asleep. I don't know if I was awake or dreaming when that happened.

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